For my writing final our assignment was to write two pages about anything we want, in any style we want, and then write a two page paper explaining why it's good at what it's trying to accomplish. I wanted to incorporate some things that were a large part of my freshman year, so I decided to write a paper about why I'd never be on The Bachelor in the form of a fake blog post.
I have become a blog fanatic this year. Not that I post all of the time, but I do enjoy some major blog stalking-it's normal I promise. I am also an avid fan of The Bachelor, if you need any backup about that ask my roommates.
Since I wrote it in the form of a fake blog post I figured I may as well post it on my real blog, so here it is enjoy!
You’ll never guess who
called. Chris Harrison. Naturally, you all should know who he is, but for those
of you who don’t, he’s the host of The Bachelor. I’m sure you can imagine my
shock that the Chris Harrison was calling me, Brittany Thompson. My brain was
having a hard time processing anything other than oh my goodness, I am talking
to Chris Harrison. Unfortunately, that means I sounded a bit like a blubbering
idiot. He had to repeat sentences several times before I brought my head down
out of the clouds. The conversation was over before I knew it. He asked me if I
would be willing to be on the next season of the Bachelor. My first thought was
to say you know I will! Luckily, a little bit of sense drilled its way through
my thick skull and the words that came out instead were, “Can I have a few days
to think about it?”
Guys,
I have a big decision to make. This
could change my life forever.
Now, I must tell you, I
love this show like nobody’s business. After all, doesn’t everyone like drama?
Well, that is, we like it when it’s not our own. The bachelor is filled to the
brim with drama. Let’s be real, that’s how they keep their viewers interested.
I myself would have to join Bachelors Anonymous if it came right down to it.
The drama filled episodes satisfy a sick and twisted need. In fact, the periods
between shows are agonizing. The thing is, as hypocritical as this might sound,
I’m not sure I want my feelings to be
the source of someone else’s drama fix.
People like to have
favorites. We have favorite foods, clothes, music, and people. On The Bachelor
they usually provide a wide variety of personalities. I wonder if I could
become somebody’s favorite. From this past season, for example, there were the
really quiet, shy girls and there were the loud obnoxious ones who liked to get
in other people’s faces. There was a baton twirler and a horseback rider. Each
girl brought something unique to the show. Even though I don’t know if I’d do
it, I think I could bring something quirky to the show.
I guess if at any time
I didn’t want to be there any more I could just leave. A lot of contestants have done that. But, I’d probably wait until I went on a cool
date first. It would be probably worth it for one out-of-this-world date. To
accomplish that, I could be flirty on the first night, just enough to be interesting
so that he’ll keep me around. Wouldn’t that be a story for the episode of The
Women Tell All? Ironically enough, that’s what happened with a girl named
Brittney this past season, odd.
Just to humor me let’s
say I did win, I would have to hide my relationship for a few months while the
show is airing. I don’t want to be in a secretive relationship--that sounds
like a nightmare. And what if while it’s airing he sees some things that I did
out of anger that makes him not love me anymore? Although I would hope that he
would love me no matter what, but you never really know with those crazy people
who go on the show.
One issue I would face
is that I would be the only sober one there. In almost every shot, if they are
just sitting around, someone has a drink in their hand. It would be hard to be
the only who wasn’t drinking. Unfortunately, the biggest downside to The
Bachelor is competing with 24 other women. For crying out loud girls are
jealous enough if they are vying for a guy’s attention against one other girl.
Try competing with 24. No thank you!
So while The Bachelor
is fun and flashy, I think I’ll just stick to watching it on TV. I’ll live vicariously through the experience
of others and stay in my steady safe environment where I can create my own
drama without parading it on national television for the whole world to see.
