It's good for your soul

Counseling. That word gives a large group of people the feeling that something is wrong with them. Let's be honest, at times I've felt that way. But let me tell you. If anyone ever suggests you go, I highly recommend you do. It is an incredible experience.

It's no secret that things with me and my dad aren't the best. We've had our ups and downs. Sad to say but we've had far more downs than ups. About a month ago he asked if I'd be willing to go to counseling. I halfheartedly agreed. I was almost at that point where our relationship seemed too hard to fix, so I thought what the heck why not?

Boy oh boy. I feel like that first session changed my life. I mean it. I learned a lot about myself and people in general. I've always known that I'm not one to face contention head on, but the counselor helped me see an important point.

There are two types of people when it comes to conflict. Pursuers and those who step back. I am one who steps back and my dad is a pursuer. The ones who step back have an insecurity in themselves. They feel that they are not good enough or that they are being a disappointment. A pursuer has an insecurity in the relationship itself.

When you have one of each personality type it's like a dog chasing it's tail. The harder the pursuer pushes the further back the other person steps. Nothing ever gets resolved. I learned I need to be more assertive. It's hard but I'm working on it.

Tonight we went for our second round.

There are some things I feel like we are born knowing that no one ever talks about. For example, in order to feel like you can be open and say how you feel you want to feel safe in the environment you talk and feel safe with the person you are talking to. A vital key to feeling safe is to take problems one small piece at a time.

We went through an example in my life where I didn't feel safe telling my dad how I felt. It was incredible to see how quickly things escalated. It really is a challenge to take things slowly, but once we started to get the hang of it it was amazing to finally feel that there is hope that my dad can understand how I feel.

I'm learning how to better understand people and how to ask the right questions to make sure I understand why a person feels the way they do. Even though these sessions make me feel extremely vulnerable they are empowering.

Things are lookin' up for me and my dad already. I'm not saying this road won't be tough, but I sure hope it will all be worth it.

That driving birthday girl

Do you ever have those days where you stop and think how fast time is going around you? Today is one of those days for me. My sweet little sister is turning 15. When did that happen? Just yesterday she was barely starting to come to Young Women's and starting to wear makeup and care about how she looked.

Time has flown. Really it has. In the passing time she has become one of my very best friends. She knows the dramas from my life, my worries and concerns, she listens to my dumb stories, and helps me out in the kitchen since she's better at that stuff than I am. 

Ashley is one of the best people  I have ever seen with kids. She is going to be an amazing mom one day. She can often be found running around with all our little cousins, and needless to say they all love her like crazy.

This girl keeps me laughing all the time.

She's willing to do the most spontaneously random things with me.

She is a great listener. 

She's supportive.

She has my love of desserts. Obviously she's a keeper:)

Isn't she gorgeous?? We'll be peeling the boys of this one that's for sure! 

She's a gem. I love this girl with all my heart. She'll never know what she's done for me over the years. She's a keeper and to say I'm glad we're sisters would be an understatement! 

Love you Ash:) Happy birthday:)

Chinese New Year

So the Chinese New Year starts this year on Januray 23rd. Now what am I doing writing a post about it before the actual day? Well, I just like to get a head start on things. [Plus in order to celebrate we all have to be fully aware that it's happening.] This year is the year of the Dragon.

Sweet Dragon don't you think? I want to see one in person some day. Ironically enough I guess I'm very compatible with anyone who is a Dragon and also those who are Rats. So to all you Dragons and Rats out there, let's be friends. Whaddaya say?

I was born in the year of the Monkey. According to this website these are some characteristics that describe me.

Monkeys:

• Are smart, brave, active, and competitive.
• Like new things.
• Have a good memory.
• Are quick to respond.
• Have an easy time winning people's trust.
• Are however, not very patient.

Think those things sound like me? I'd say it's pretty accurate! Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Oh and an exciting side note. My pal Josh Thomas got his mission call today! He's going to Jackson, Mississippi and he leaves April 25th. Congrats Josh! You'll do great:)

I am a Christian

Some time ago my mom told me about this post called, I'm Christian Unless you're Gay. Those are pretty powerful words. The more I thought about them the more I realized that sadly, that is the mentality of a good majority of people. Those of us who are Latter Day Saints have been commanded to love everyone. But how often do we categorize our everyone down to a ridiculously small amount of people? Everyone doesn't mean only the people who talk the same way you do, dress the same as you, have the same religion, or moral standards. It literally means every single person on this earth. 

When I think of having to love everyone I sometimes become overwhelmed. I have the people I don't like and those who rub me the wrong way, but they are still people with feelings who need to be loved, just like me. 

Now loving doesn't mean we agree with everything a person does. Far from it actually. This Single Dad Laughing, author of I'm Christian Unless you're Gay, said it best,

"Come on. Don’t we understand? Don’t we get it? To put our arm around someone who is gay, someone who has an addiction, somebody who lives a different lifestyle, someone who is not what we think they should be… doing that has nothing to do with enabling them or accepting what they do as okay by us. It has nothing to do with encouraging them in their practice of what you or I might feel or believe is wrong vs right.

It has everything to do with being a good human being. A good person. A good friend.

That’s all."

One of the things we all want most in the world is to have a friend. To be accepted. To feel loved. In order to have these things we need to be willing to not judge, because we all do something that someone else will think is "different." He continues,

"Well, guess what.

There are things we all do or believe that other people consider “sinful.” There are things we all do or believe that other people consider “wrong.” There are things we all do or believe that other people would be disgusted or angered by."

Can any of you say you haven't done something others consider wrong lately? If so, I don't know why you're still on earth. Most of us would like to consider ourselves loving and caring people, but how many of us, whether it's knowingly or unknowingly think this way?

“Oh, but you’re not gay? You’re clean, and well dressed, and you have a job? You look the way I think you should look? You act the way I think you should act? You believe the things I think you should believe? Then I’m definitely a Christian. To you, today, I’m a Christian. You’ve earned it."

I hope I have never acted that way towards someone. The sad thing is, I probably have, but I've decided to work on it. I, Brittany Thompson, am going to work on being more accepting of others for their thoughts, personalities, and beliefs. Everyone deserves a chance. Everyone has something special to offer. I just need to do the digging and find out what it is.

Towards the end of the post he says this,

"...what you’ll find, and I promise you this, is that the more you put your arm around those that you might naturally look down on, the more you will love yourself. And the more you love yourself, the less need you’ll ever have to find fault or be better than others.  And the less we all find fault or have a need to be better than others, the quicker this world becomes a far better place to live."

I want to love myself more. I want to get out of the awful rut of comparing myself to others. I want to be a positive contribution to the world. If I can do that by loving others then I will.

A little bit of love can do A LOT of good.  

His post was very thought provoking for me and it made me want to be a better person. Here's the link if you'd like to read it. It's a little lengthy, but I would definitely recommend it! http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html

What we do

 These girls have become like my sisters. 

When one of us are sad,

 

happy,

or frustrated

 

we all feel it along with them.

Today one of us had a close friend leave for his mission. Needless to say she is a little bummed. And let's be honest who could blame her??

So the question is how on earth do we cope with this?

We buy cupcakes from The Cocoa Bean

We paint nails.

 

We let the homework fall aside for awhile.

We talk about the best things about our days.
We listen to playlists of said boys favorite songs.
We listen to our favorite songs.
We yell, we cry, we laugh.

But mostly we are just here for each other. 

Roommates, friends, sisters call us what you will:)

My Salad Bowl

This post is a little of this and a little of that, just a few things from my life lately.

First

We met our two new FHE brothers last night. They are both RM's. Yikes. They seem nice, but the thought of RM's being in our family is just a little weird. We plan to hook Shaundra up with the tall one.

Second

The semester started today and it's going to be an interesting one. I have at least 3 crazy teachers. Each distinct. My writing teacher is one of the guys you may have seen on campus with a crazy beard and long hair. If I'm being honest, I thought he looked like a hobo when I first saw him. Plus, he has the attention span of a ten year old. Next, my Humanities teacher reminds me of Ms. Darbus from High School Musical. She's very into the arts. Then there's my Stats teacher he's strange, but I already like him a lot and Nicole has it with me, so that class will be good.

Third

This boy got his mission call today. 

I guessed he'd go to Ecuador, but he got called to Birmingham Alabama.  He leaves April 4th.Yay Jordan!! Proud of you:)

Fun friends. Like Derek's new look?;)

Fourth

I have the best roommates ever. 

Know what that is? A missionary countdown. I kept saying how I wanted one and lo and behold Sarah gave me one, with stickers. Best present ever.

Fifth

Dad's birthday was last week. We played at the park. It was lots of fun.

 Sixth

I really enjoy when McCade is home for breaks. He lets us party at his house and eat his food. And best of all, besides getting to see him, he lets us watch movies in his basement!

I was one happy camper

Seventh

I got to go shopping with that Tree girl, her mom, and Derek. We went to H&M and Down East where we found this gem.

Stephanie just loves sequins;) So we keep an eye out for her

Eighth

Remember that cute missionary? He had his first baptism where he got to baptize someone!

New companion. I love missionary pictures:)

Ninth

John got his wisdom teeth out over the break. It was hilarious. Words cannot even explain. Thank you John for the entertainment you brought to my life

Tenth

New years eve was one heck of a party. Many thanks to Shaundra for providing sparklers. Definitely my new favorite way to bring in a new year. 

Eleventh [the final thing]

 I'm loving being back in the dorms. It's crazy how quickly you can become good friends with people you live with. Seeing Shaundra, Mallory, Nicole, Dani, Savannah, Annie, Lucy, Chylie, Charity, Sarah, Stephanie, Rachel, Laurie, and yes even the FHE brothers made my day.

Winter Semester here I come!